The cool water laps at my feet. Under my wetsuit, I feel the warm sun opening up above me and parting the clouds. The waves come rocking, ripples across the darkened waters. Breathing into the moments as black-bodied humans gather scattered across the horizon’s multitude of colors. The surfers of Cowells Beach waiting patiently for the next swells. Under the growing heat of the tight hug around my skin, I feel the exchange of cold water seeping in and washing me clean. This afternoon is filled with quiet swell, the rolls of a low ocean love that rocks us all to the openings.

My hair curls in pieces around my face, settling onto the blue soft board under me. I feel the simplicity in each arm as it pulls down and through the water, pushing me forward to meet the lineup out at the break. I relax as the thoughts unravel inside of me, melting out of my head and back into my present moment. The breath releases me from the build up of drama – all that has left me stuck inside my negative clouds of darkness. Now I prefer to slip into my body and tune into the world around me.

The waves come in long soft hills that glide in relaxed meditation through the ocean. My fingers play in the wetness, becoming kelp that sways in the changing directions. I could rest in this embrace forever. The ocean reminds me to let go. These waters clear the contaminated spaces between my ears. As I shake off the morning and focus on the rolling of the tides, I peel back the layers to expose the fun of simply being present and trying to get my feet underneath me. I find the balancing of my heart, standing up and smiling in the gentle ride of a Friday spent in the water under a cloudy sky. Full of rain, my eyes that were filled with tears before are now turned up in a gaze of gratitude for just being connected to nature.

If you never try then you never know. I push and paddle, my body expanding to the chances that come in through these slices of energy. I feel my body standing up and kicking through it, a strength that I feel through the deeper parts of me. When my walls come down, I start to piece together the uncertainties and just surrender to them. I get present in my body, pushing my shoulders back and finding joy in the quick exchanges of the others  around me. 

The ease of the moment as I ride and continue to shore remind me to savor it all. Long with my breath, focusing on the way the water drips off me and connects me into the ocean below. I swim in the laughter, both balancing and falling, as it mixes with the tides. 

And then I am up again. The white waters curling up and over as I jump on and ride through the rollercoaster wetness. I slip into the spaces and find a nice place to hang out, sitting up to appreciate the vastness of the ocean in its entirety. Gazing out over the landscape, watching as the water crashes up against the shores in the  west, I sink into the moment as it is here within me. 

I am ready for more gentle rocking, for more crashing waves and the rumble of the ocean underneath me. Kind in my ride and making space for simple fun. I play in these angles, the corners that round and the challenges that come from trying something new. With more days dedicated to honoring my life as it is, I begin to recognize what’s most important to me. Sharing in what nature provides, spending that time together and relaxing into it all as it is supposed to be. The goodness of just connecting and appreciating the larger world. Gliding in, feeling the waves pull me with them, I turn out and balance in sensitive exhalation. No worries to be had as we let it all go together.