A purpose driven life, one that is values-forward. How does one continue down a path of knowing what is best when there are so many other considerations to take into account, some many differing views and values? And what does it mean for those who come after us, creating the planet in an image that we believe will best serve others, that will make this a better place? 

She has been dreaming of the perfect way to lead her life since she began her life. She had filled her time with fantasy, coming up with whole new worlds to inhabit, to explore. And her parents encouraged her, buying her coloring books, building forts, and taking trips to the mountains and the sea. She spent her time thinking about the smallest particles, the amoebas, and the ants. She watched whole colonies move in and out of their homes, along grasses and up flower stems in the search for something: for food, for water, for their own to bring back into the home they had made underground. 

She wanted that perfect world, finding the obstacles in front of her –from going to college to moving through the rhythm of jobs that weren’t totally aligned — a mess of things to be fixed, things in her way to some future state. She was anxious, cared too much about all the little things, and forgot to breathe. She has finally come to the conclusion that there is no ideal out there: that everything is flawed, including herself. And now she wonders, what’s the point? What is she working toward? And for whom? 

Should she care about what type of job she has? Should she start buying things in single use containers? Should she buy the car she wants instead of the car she thinks is best for the warming Earth? She considers her options, weighing out what is beautiful and what is not. In the morning, before the world is awake, she listens to the sounds. She waits for the sun to rise over the buildings and sunlight to pour into her windows, creating patterns on the wood floor. And she sighs, realizing that she is not going to be able to stop herself from caring. She’s not going to be able to do anything but continue to try, to do her best, and to give back for everything she thinks she has been so fortunate to be given. An opportunity to do enough, and be okay with enough.